I have been wanting to share a story with you that I really didn't know how to share. Sometimes it can be so hard speaking while in battle, but when I tell you that God gives you strength in the midst of battle to encourage others, so that at the same time you are being encouraged yourself. I think that God keeps a word in me for others so that I can be reminded that he's still working on and for me. I'm so glad that I serve a covenant keeping God (Deuteronomy 7:9). (insert praise break)
On September 9, 2013 I made a commitment to God to diligently chase after him, to submit my will to his, to live a healthier lifestyle and to improve as a Mother and a wife. Well, I started working with a trainer 3 days a week, going to another trainers boot camp 3 days and jogging on my own. I started eating better, reading my word working to restore my marriage and started a women's bible study in my home. You know that the enemy couldn't stand that, so he had to shake some things up. But, how many of my readers know that he can only do what God allows! SO, about 9 days after I started changing my life was my children's father birthday [my then husband] and he flew into town to celebrate with us (me and our 3 children). We went to dinner, came home gave him his gifts and watched a movie. After we had put the children to bed, I showered and he and I went to bed. He and I made love unprotected (I mean he was my husband) not knowing that THE SAME DAY he had unprotected sex with the girlfriend he left back in NY. I woke up at 5am as I do now to do the Fourth Watch Prayer to have received an email from a woman who told me in the email that she had been in a serious relationship with my husband, that they were in love and he had even traveled with her to meet her family and ask her Dad for her hand in marriage. In marriage??? What the what? He's already married with 3 kids!! He had also told her that he divorced me 2 years prior and that he hated me and when he came home to TX to visit he stayed at a hotel, rented a car and would never see me. LIES, ALL LIES! If you're human, if you have ever been married, ever been in love then you can imagine how I felt reading this email and talking to this woman on the phone about MY husband. It wasn't just her, but she had informed me of another woman she had spent 2 hours on the phone with, that my husband was in a relationship with and in love with. Per the ILY text he had sent her before bed this same night as well. OMG! I then later received a email from that woman too. Here I am now dealing with woman number 7 and 8 that have been in a relationship with my husband. A man that was once God fearing, chasing and a devoted Father. I woke him up and demanded answers and of course I received LIES about how he doesn't know this girl and how she's crazy...blah, blah, blah. Anyway, that started a fight. A fight that got me charged with assault with bodily injury. Now, I can thank God for deliverance because a calm temper and slow to anger spirit hasn't always been my testimony. I hired an attorney and for 11 months I fought this charge while preaching the gospel, raising 3 kids and dealing with a husband that abandoned his entire family for this other woman. Not only was I battling emotionally, but spiritually I was a mess. I was speaking life into everyone around me, but inside I felt like I was dying a slow, painful death. I knew that he wanted them to find me guilty so that I could lose my children because he hated paying my child support. He provided them with pictures of bruises and written testimony against me. Made me out to be a monster!! I was broken, I felt defeated, I felt disgusting and used, I felt the lowest level of betrayal that could possibly be felt. I kept going to the DR. to get checked for STD's and AIDS. Something as simple as a cough would have me on edge for a week until I could run into the Dr office. All this I'm battling alone because the shame was too much for me to allow everyone to see. No one knew about the sleepless nights, the missed meals, the heartache that was overtaking my life. I was bleeding severely on the inside, but I was still leading God's people. My good friend explained to me recently how God calls you to lead while you bleed. How can you help the hurt if you've never been hurt? Who can better comfort a widow, than a widow? Who can reassure you that it gets better if they haven't experienced worst? When you're called to do great things you will experience leading while bleeding! And that's ok as long as you keep pressing. I declare that my latter will be greater and all the storms I've experienced will reveal a blessing that while in the midst of the storm I couldn't see.
I thank God for the people that were there to listen to me just scream in the phone, because somehow that just made everything better. :-) More importantly I thank God for the people that held me accountable. That allowed the break downs, but didn't allow me to stay there. WHEW!
Finally, trial came and I went with a peace that only God could provide. I went knowing my purpose. See because once you figure out your purpose you have stepped into a new dominion of power. The enemy does not, I repeat he does NOT want us to figure out our God-given purpose. So, I figured out my purpose and I went in that courtroom confident that God was going to get some glory out of this. I sat and watched the man I once loved, started a family with, kissed every night good night for 13 years, betray me, lie on me, testify against me. I'm reminded of the story of Judas and how he betrayed Jesus with a kiss. I can only imagine how Jesus felt. Jesus loved his disciples dearly, yet one betrayed him with something that is supposed to be used as a sign of love, honor or respect "a kiss" And I remember thinking I am no better than Jesus why did I think I couldn't be betrayed by someone who was once the closest person to me?
I gave my honest to God true testimony on that stand. I didn't deny the fight at all. I didn't make an excuse for my actions I simply spoke truth and trusted God. I knew this could be on my record for the rest of my life, I knew this could hinder job opportunities, I could lose my kids, I could go to jail, I could lose everything I had. I kept reminding God of my purpose that he gave me. Isaiah 43:26 says Put me in remembrance. Not that God needs a reminder, but sometimes we do (John 14:26). If I can remind God then I can remind myself that he who has begun a great work in me WILL carry it out to completion (Philippians 1:6) Amen.
I opted for a Judge trial (no jury) although my attorney suggested a jury trial. The trial started at 8:30am and lasted til 2:30pm. I was so tired of the going back and forth. As I sat on that stand chastised and ridiculed, lied on and talked down upon I kept my faith in God. Then......I WON!!! The Judge found me "NOT GUILTY" not only was I not guilty, but it was expunged from my record. Tell me my God is not awesome and greatly to be praised!!! The truth always wins in the end. And not 1 word set out by God will return to him void. I knew that God had a purpose, I knew that he was going to fight my battles, I trusted God to do exactly what he said and exactly what I asked of him. I knew that I tried with everything in me every single day to be righteous James 5:16 says the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. That I do believe, because that I have experienced time and time again! I have been at the lowest of lows spiritually, financially, emotionally and physically, YET and still GOD has and continues to deliver me! Psalms 34:19 says Many are the troubles of the righteous, but the Lord delivers them out of them all. After all I've walked through I can honestly say that I now have God's unspeakable JOY! Through it all I have a peace like never before. I trust God with my whole heart, and I trust that he knows what's best for me and no good thing will he withhold from me (Psalm 84:11).
In reading this I hope that you find comfort in knowing that NO MATTER how bad, ugly or scary your current situation may be, God has not forgotten about you and he will fight for you. I know on the outside looking in, people lives can seem so unbothered by trials and tribulations, but trust that they too are fighting some type of battle because the enemy is busy and prowling like a roaring lion (1 Peter 5:8). Stay prayed up and pray for one another (Ephesians 6:18). Find your purpose, hold on to it tight, trust God and then trust the process. I am convinced that all my bad experiences are set ups for blessings that my mind can't even conceive. I believe that for myself and I believe that for all the people of God!
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Love, Peace and Blessings,
Maranda L. Hall
**Happy New Year**
